Lately, I have been tired. I mean who doesn’t? It has already been 6 months of this PRE DUTY FROM cycle. There are days when I’m just pumped up to go on duties. It’s actually kinda fun. The cases you get to see and the cool stuff you get to do. You get to poke people with needles, sleep in the operating room, find the exit and entry of a gunshot wound, keep doing chest compressions until that person gets his heartbeat back. Normal people don’t get to do these everyday, not even in their lifetime.
But there are just days when I think twice, after all these years, is there where I am meant to be. This question lingers with a flooded Espanya Manila, crowded LRT, Sunday duty, urine output monitoring, crappy endorsements, trashy census, demanding patients and demeaning case conferences.
So how do I keep going? After all, its sort of too late to quit. Where do I get my inspiration to continue this pursuit? From my dream of becoming a doctor? Nah. I don’t think so, frankly it hasn’t been constant. There are days when I want to be a lawyer or historian instead. So let’s cross that out. From my patients, to constantly care for them? No, not this one too. They can be tiring, seriously. From my group mates? Not really. Yeah, its fun to work with them but there are duty days when everyone is being hormonal.
Colossians 3:23 gives the absolute answer: “Whatever you do work at with all year heart as working for the Lord and not for men.”
Nuff said. Happy Sunday!