Don’t Best Friend Me


Familiar with the heartbreaking valentine commercial Jollibee gave us? We all hurt for the best friend who lovingly and willingly watched at the sidelines. Let us look at the real culprit for this story that back stabbed our emotions.

When most of my guy friends call they’d start “Dude!” and I’d say “Yes bro?” They’d call or text whether they need someone to listen to them or need to hear an advice or simply to accompany them to the barber shop for a haircut. If they’d ask if we could hangout and I can’t for some girly reason, I could be honest “I can’t. I have my period. I don’t feel like going out.”  I suppose you ladies and gents also have those friends or that friend from the opposite sex that you are comfortably close with. In fact too close for comfort at times.

There would even be times you’d be so comfortable with each other that he or she becomes the first person you want to share your stories with. The person you can think of when you want someone to listen to your whining or crying. Cluelessly, you were already investing your emotions without knowing the collateral.

You cannot be pouring out your secrets and feelings to your best friend without stirring each other’s heart in the long run. You can’t be depending on him and constantly needing him without tugging at his superhero instinct to save the day for the damsel in distress. It’s natural for women to want to be taken care of, to be pursued, and to be appreciated. And it’s also natural for men to pursue (or hunt, if you may). And sweep the princess off her feet. That’s how it was designed. Men cultivate, women cultivated. That’s how it works between opposite sexes. Whether intentional or not its nature and instinct at work. Now if you are not going to put boundaries to your actions you are unknowingly dancing at the edge of the pit.

Guard your heart. Your words should be consistent with your actions. You can’t be saying “best friends lang kami” and yet seeing each other every day, giving stirring remarks “masaya ko kapag kasama ka” with a dreamy voice. A no is a no. If it is legitimately just plain friendship, draw the line. Act the part just right.Don’t overdo it. Do not awaken love until it so desires.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”- Song of Solomon 8:4

Now imagine, what if you eventually enter into a romantic relationship with another person. You now have a girlfriend or boyfriend. From the above’s definition, who is supposed to be your best friend? The one who you value above others? The one whom you confide?  The one who’s mere presence makes you feel extra happy? Will it be Guy 1: “the bestie” or Guy 2: “the boyfie”. Can you retain both? Is it ideal? Is it workable? Sweetheart, N-O. As Professor Sybill Trelawney puts it “neither shall live while the other survives.” Otherwise you will be killing both relationships. By being unfair to one and unfaithful to the other.

You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”–but not everything is beneficial. – 1 Corinthians 10:23

Reflect. Don’t deny yourself the truth. Don’t be selfish. Sort your feelings. Confusion brings chaos. But before you decide try to calm your haywire thoughts. Know and remember your worth. Do you need these relationships because they complete you? Babe,

“hindi ka pwedeng doughnut na may hole sa gitna naghahanap ng munchkin to complete you. Dapat Bavarian ka” (Ptr. Gilbert Foliente).





first 3 definitions of best friend are lifted from urban dictionary

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